You Tried It, Facebook…

This is why I just can’t with Facebook. (See Exhibit A below.) 

A few months ago, I put up a video with music (right before the Facebook Overlords put their new copyright rules into effect), they take down and block me from posting anything for 24 hours. 

Now I try to sell tickets that my husband legally purchased but now cannot use, and Facebook takes down the post. Their policy says nothing about event tickets being a prohibited item. But then again, the Facebook Overlords probably took one look at this picture and assumed I was trying to sell a pair of crack smoking, gun-toting raccoons. 

Instead of over-policing my posts, perhaps they should focus their energy on addressing real problems like the colossal failure otherwise known as Facebook Stories. And they need to stop mucking up Instagram while they’re at it. Scrolling through my timeline and seeing that every other post is an ad for obscure and/or useless stuff that is no interest, or an offensive political ad is so annoying. 
Get it together, Facebook. 

Baltimore Baton Takeover this Wednesday!

The Baltimore Baton
The Baltimore Baton

I’m excited to share that I will be taking over The Baltimore Baton’s Instagram on Wednesday!

The Baltimore Baton was founded by the awesome Megan Soup (Have you checked out her Soup of the Day blog? Her engagement story is the sweetest!). Locals take turns with the baton, highlighting the people and places in Charm City before passing the baton to others.

As I am on staycation for a better part of the week, I’m looking forward to visiting some places, seeing some people and celebrating a special occasion with friends.

Be sure to follow The Baltimore Baton on Instagram. And you’re a local who loves Baltimore as much as I do, consider signing up for a turn with The Baltimore Baton. Email thebaltimorebaton@gmail.com to sign up!

Cicada Files Archives: May 25, 2004

Pure Terror

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 @ 2:05 PM

Today I am in tears.  I have to go to the store to run a few last-minute errands before I leave for Nassau tomorrow, and the cicadas are out in my neighborhood in full force.  I am too afraid to go outside.  There are literally dozens of cicadas flying into and out of the tree in my front yard.  One cicada is perched outside of one of my front windows screeching; another one is clinging to my bedroom window screen.  I am so afraid that if I go outside something’s going to land on me, or in my hair.

I just took a look outside my window again, and they’re still busy flying about.  I shudder to think what I may find if I open my door.  A couple of cicadas landed on my car to pay their respects to their dead comrade who’s still stuck in my windshield wiper.

Everyone keeps talking about the cicadas reaching their peak next week.  I cannot believe that all of this activity is just a prelude to even more heavy cicada traffic.

I just heard another male screeching in the window right where I am now.  Ugh.  I think the cicadas are getting back at me for my anti-cicada journal, and have decided to set up a protest and picket line around my house.  Who’s been leaking my journal to the cicadas?

Cicada Files Archives: May 21, 2004

Up Close and Too Personal

Friday, May 21, 2004 @ 10:20 PM

I braved the elements earlier this evening to go out to dinner with one of my girlfriends and her daughter.  When they came to pick me up, my neighbor was outside cutting his lawn.  BIG mistake.  As I opened the door, he smiled and waved enthusiastically.  “Hi!  Look, we’ve got cicadas!”  I looked down on the ground to see an entourage of cicadas eagerly following the lawn mower as my neighbor mowed back and forth like he was the Pied Piper or something.  My neighbor’s wife and little daughter were outside eagerly watching the cicadas zip back and forth following the hum of the lawn mower.  As the cicadas realized that it wasn’t a male cicada trying to put the moves on them, one by one, they flew off…and headed straight towards me!  As I ran to hop in my girlfriend’s car, my neighbors were chuckling.  “Oh, they’re harmless.   You should see our backyards!  There are hundreds of them back there!”  That’s when I told my girlfriend Yvonne to pull off.  I had heard enough.

Yvonne was cruising towards Route 40 past all kinds of trees with her windows down.  That’s a blatant invitation for a cicada to fly in and take over your car.

I was dreading the return trip home, so before we left the restaurant, I grabbed my keys, armed and ready to march straight to my front door.  Yvonne looked at me and asked me what I was doing with my keys out.  Apparently, she must’ve thought that I had forgotten that she drove.  I didn’t forget, I was just trying to be on the ready.

Finally, when we arrived at my house, I was very apprehensive about walking up to the front door.  I didn’t know if the cicadas were camped out in my yard, or chillin’ on the door frame.  I stood there for a good 30 seconds, not sure of what to do.  Should I run, open the front door and hope that there’s nothing close enough to fly into the house?  Should I walk slowly and cautiously, so as not to disturb the cicadas?   Or should I ask Yvonne to drop me off at BWI so that I could catch the first flight out of town?  Yvonne, concerned, sent her daughter Kyra to open the door for me.  I asked Kyra if she saw any cicadas on my front door; she told me that she didn’t, and then she waited for me to open the door.  She’s such a sweetie pie.

Later on, my sister Shani called to tell me that she read my weblog and thought it was hilarious.  She was laughing uncontrollably, which to me, indicated that she was laughing at me, and not at my journal writings.  I asked Shani how many cicadas had she seen thus far; she said she’s seen one cicada shell.  Okay, now she’s disqualified.  I’ve seen cicadas hanging from trees, flying around, landing on my shoulder, waving at people, chilling on lamp posts, directing traffic in parking lots, doing the cha-cha slide on the sidewalk, you name it.  I’ve seen a few dozen cicadas to her one…and she has the nerve to laugh at me.

And anyway, why is Shani perpetrating now like she isn’t afraid of bugs?  This is the girl who used to scream when she found a cricket in the laundry basket.  She’s trying to laugh at me?  That’s a shame and a half.

Wait until a cicada lands on her shoulder.  I bet she won’t be laughing then.

Cicada Files Archives: May 11, 2004

Gross Encounters of the X Kind

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 @ 9 PM

I had my first encounter with a member of the Brood X Cicada family.  I live on the outskirts of the Patapsco State Park, so I’m sure that the cicadas in my area will be rolling like P.Diddy’s entourage in a few weeks.  However, it’s still pretty early in the Brood X season, so I didn’t expect to see a cicada this soon.

On Tuesday evening, I stopped at a gas station on Security Boulevard to buy gas.  (I had to take out a second mortgage on the house just to fill up my gas tank…but that’s a whole ‘nother saga).  As I was walking towards the pump, it happened.  This huge bug landed on my right shoulder!  It looked to be about the size of a 4-year-old child…I kid you not!  Okay, so it wasn’t 3-feet tall, but it was way too big to be flying around!  I don’t know if the thing was lost and needed directions to the park, or if God was exercising his sense of humor, but it picked the WRONG shoulder to land on.

For a minute there, I tried to lay aside my fear of insects, and tried to play it cool.  I thought if I could simply brush it off my shoulder, I’d be okay.  My first instinct was to scream, but I was trying to handle it rationally.  So I started flicking at the thing, and then I proceeded to stomp my foot; the bug didn’t move.  I yelled at the bug; it didn’t move.  After exhausting all possible options, I had no choice.  I had to scream.  And you know what?  The bug still didn’t move.  It took a little twisting and turning, and a lot of screaming for the bug to eventually fall to the ground.

A couple of other customers at the gas station asked me if I was okay.  I think one lady was laughing at me as she was pulling off.  But trust me, that sister will have her day.  I was so freaked out by this bug landing on me, that I quickly put the cap back on the tank, hopped in the car and sped off.

As a result of my experience, I’ve come up with a few tips to help people cope with the Brood X Cicadas:

  1. Don’t buy gas from the Shell station on Security Boulevard. This is a cicada-friendly establishment.
  2. Don’t waste your energy trying to yell at, or reason with a cicada. Cicadas don’t understand English.
  3. Don’t move near a state park. Parks tend to have a lot of trees, and cicadas like trees. Hence, where there are trees, there will be lots of cicadas and mass pandemonium.
  4. If a cicada lands on your shoulder, you can easily get it off by turning in a circle twice counter-clockwise while screaming loudly. This will effectively make the cicada dizzy and will scare it (along with anyone within 30 feet of you).

In the coming weeks, as the cicadas sneak out of the Patapsco State Park and start roaming through my neighborhood, I’m sure I’ll come up more reasonable and rational tips to pass along.

Cicada Non Grata

 

I don’t know who told the Brood X Cicadas that they could just show up unannounced four years early. But whoever it is, they will have hell to pay. It’s 2017, and those beady-eyed flying terrors of destruction were not due back here for another four years. I needed those four years to come up with an escape plan.

Anyone who knows me know that I am not a cicada fan. And anyone who knows me well knows that I had a little blog called The Cicada Files back during the last Brood X invasion.

As I will be spending a lot of time indoors over the next several weeks, I’ll be sharing posts from The Cicada Files archives here.

Damn you, Cicadas.

Book Recommendation: THE TRUTH ABOUT AWITI

Muse

aWITI

“[I]f one believes–or at a minimum has a bit of curiosity–regarding the connection between the mind, body, and spirit, specifically as it relates to traumatic experiences, the theory of spiritual retribution is difficult to ignore.” C. P. Patrick

Publisher Synopsis:

There is a commonly held belief the tropical storms and hurricanes that form off the coast of West Africa are not natural disasters, but rather they are retaliation by restless spirits impacted by one of the darkest chapters of world history—the trans–Atlantic slave trade.

Awiti’s destiny was forever changed the day the slave raiders arrived at her village. She made a life-altering decision with the hope of being reunited with her family, only to discover her effort was in vain. For centuries, her sadness raged within the winds and rain, resulting in tropical storms that devastated the South. But there is more to Awiti than creating hurricanes, as those who…

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“The Four Jesuses” Reading Postponed

4J Postponed

It all started out beautifully.

I submitted my two-act play, The Four Jesuses, to the DCBTF earlier this year. I was delighted to learn that the DCBTF chose my little play to be in the DCBTF’s 2015 New Works Reading Series! Being a first-time playwright, I was excited to have the opportunity to share my work with the theatre community.

I have been writing all my life. Poems, short stories, essays…you name it, I’ve written it. Writing a play has been something that I’ve wanted to do for some time, and finally I had.

The process of putting on a play is new to me. I was looking forward to learning about auditioning, the workshop process and what it takes to produce a play. I was excited, energized and inspired.

That was a few months ago.

Over the past few months, I have been on a roller coaster ride with this festival. My flier, logo and other promotional materials never made it onto the festival website, and no one could confirm for me the actual start time for my reading. There’s so much more I could say, and so much more proof of the foolery and ninja nonsense I have had to deal with, but I won’t get into that. I am trying to temper my words and not lay blame, but it’s hard, especially when my reputation — which is vested in this — is at stake.

Everything started to unravel at warp speed yesterday when I went to the venue for a site visit. The RISE Demonstration Center’s facilities staff advised me that they did not have a signed contract from the festival organizers, even though my fellow playwrights and I were given a schedule of dates and times for our readings. The Executive Director of the Center called me, very apologetic, and told me that without a signed contract from the festival organizers, they could not allow us to use the facilities. She graciously offered to allow us to use the outdoor pavilion instead. However, there were four readings scheduled for the same two-hour time slot on Sunday, and they’re calling for rain. So multiple readings taking place in the outdoor pavilion in the evening…in the rain? There are too many things that could go wrong with that scenario. According to some playwrights, they have gotten word from the organizers that everything’s a go for Sunday. As of this writing, I, personally, have not received such confirmation.

IMG_3033

The past 18 hours have been the most stressful and disappointing in my life. Multiple attempts to contact festival organizers have yielded nothing. And thus, after talking to my talented and supportive cast, I have decided to postpone my reading. I do not want to put anyone in any sort of physical, legal or other kind of jeopardy. I am working on scheduling an independent reading, and as soon as I have preliminary logistics locked down, I will let you all know.

I thank all of my family, friends, colleagues, fellow writers and my new friends in the DMV theater community for their love, encouragement and support. To Tawanza Anthony, Johnnie Leon Hill, Rikki Lacewell Howie, Melanie Burwell, Teneisha Brown, Quentin Briscoe and Albert Prater Jr.: Thank you for believing in me and my play to want to invest in my dream. I am humbled by your talent, dedication and support.

To quote a line from The Four Jesuses Program that I now will not be handing out tomorrow, “The late Dr. Maya Angelou once said ‘Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.’ Thank you for being rainbows in my life, and for brightening my path in so many beautiful and delightful ways.”

“The Four Jesuses” Debuting at the DC Black Theatre Festival!

I am happy, proud and excited to announce that my new play, “The Four Jesuses”, will be debuting at the 2015 DC Black Theatre Festival on Sunday, June 21st! “The Four Jesuses” is a part of the DCBTF’s New Works Reading Series. Stay tuned for more details…

The Four Jesuses flier
“The Four Jesuses”, a two-act play, will be debuting at the 2015 DC Black Theatre Festival